


Aftermath

by TheRogueHuntress



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Everyone Needs A Hug, Gen, Hurt Steve Rogers, POV Tony Stark, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Steve Rogers Feels, Suicidal Steve, Suicidal Thoughts, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Is a Good Bro, black humour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-31
Updated: 2015-08-31
Packaged: 2018-04-18 07:12:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4696985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRogueHuntress/pseuds/TheRogueHuntress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>Steve, Tony notices, only smiles when people are looking. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>  <em>Sometimes, Steve flinches when he looks at someone straight on, as if it isn’t at all who he is expecting. </em></p><p>  <em>Once, Steve stared at a wall for six hours and twenty four minutes straight.</em></p><p>Tony deals with the aftermath of Steve waking up in the 21st Century and the Chitauri invasion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Aftermath

**Author's Note:**

> *Warning of suicidal thoughts and panic attacks.*

Steve, Tony notices, only smiles when people are looking. 

Sometimes, Steve flinches when he looks at someone straight on, as if it isn’t at all who he is expecting. 

Once, Steve stared at a wall for six hours and twenty four minutes straight. 

Jarvis alerts him after the six hour mark. Fifteen of those remaining minutes Tony spends pacing, watching the screen as Steve does nothing but breathe and blink. Two of those minutes are spent walking to stand just outside Steve's door. The remaining seven Tony spends pacing again, trying to figure out exactly what to say, when Steve wrenches the door open and stares at him instead. 

"What do you want Tony?" He doesn't sound annoyed. Tired maybe. 

"Doyouwanttogofordinnerwithme," Tony says. Smooth. Real smooth. Steve checks his watch, which is cute, because who uses watches anymore? Tony refrains from saying anything, and decides he deserves a trophy from Pepper. Even a badge would do. 

"It's 3pm," Steve says, as if he hadn't spent his entire day doing nothing. 

"Oh," breathes Tony. "Is it really? Silly me, must have lost track, is it lunch time then? Close enough. Burgers?" He drags Steve out of his apartment because the man got dressed, put on shoes and a sweater and some damn slacks and then stared at a wall. All day.

They have burgers. It’s awkward. Steve doesn’t smile once, except at the waitress, and it’s more of a grimace than anything recognisably happy. Tony pats himself on the back and considers it a job well done. 

Tony spends the rest of the evening and most of the night researching things like PTSD and survivor’s guilt and depression and suicidal tendencies. He’s squeamishly familiar with some of the symptoms, but ignores them in favour of the ones that apply to Steve. That he knows about. It’s not a good prognosis. 

The problem is that there isn't exactly a box for 'tried to kill oneself in an act of patriotism after ones best friend died only to find that one spent 70 years in stasis and emerged in a world where everybody one knows and loves is dead and everybody else thinks it's great because  _it's the future_ '. 

So Tony does what Tony does best. He wraps his problem up in a box with a red bow on top, and gives it to Pepper. (Actually he gives shoes to Pepper, inside the box, and tells her his problem. Same difference.) Pepper is an expert with Tony sized problems. She has a special dustpan and brush just for him. 

Pepper frowns.

"Maybe he's just sad," she says, and Tony slumps.

"Are you sure you're not just seeing problems where there are none?" she says, patting his knee as she scans paperwork, and Tony sucks in a deep breath of air. Because he should have realised: Steve is not Tony sized.

He hacks SHIELD’s secure servers and accesses Steve’s psychiatric reports. All cleared. Not surprising. He watches the video as Steve gives the doctor his grimacey-smile and wants to scream at them. How can they not notice all that pain?

Then Tony realises he's been doing it too. The only time Tony's seen Steve smile properly is after the Hulk caught him as he fell, and Steve looked so relieved, so damn happy that he didn't have yet  _another_  dead team member on his hands. He remembers the tale of Bucky Barnes, and although he doesn't want to draw comparisons between himself and Captain America’s dead best friend, he can't help but think that Steve must have been thinking of another fall, seventy years ago, which from Steve’s perspective only happened two months ago. 

One day, JARVIS tells him that Steve's standing on the edge of Stark Tower. Tony doesn't think that even super soldier serum could fix a fall from that height. He thinks Steve knows that.  He readies the bracelets and takes a step closer, crunching the gravel beneath his feet as a warning. 

"Hey Steve. Wanna get down from up there? Awfully long drop," he says. Steve doesn't reply. "I know the future looks pretty bleak right now, but give us a bit of time."

"Please," Tony says, his voice cracking, because he doesn't want to have to test the flight capabilities of the new model. Mach 26. Or 27. 

Steve turns and he must have been chopping onions because there are tears streaming down Steve’s face. 

"They're all gone. Every day I wake up expecting them to be there. And every day they're still dead. No dance for me." He steps off the wall and something tight unfurls from Tony's chest. 

"I wasn't going to do it," he says quietly. "I wouldn't fail you like that." Tony's heart is beating a million miles a minute because how in holy hell does Steve think that he’s the one failing them? Quite the opposite.

"The world needs Captain America," Steve says bitterly. 

"The world needs Steve Rogers too," Tony says and Steve cracks a small smile but it's genuine and Tony wants a really big fucking trophy. 

Tony gives Steve the number to the therapist that helped him get past Afghanistan and the names of a few others.

"It's not taboo anymore. Everyone has one," he says breezily but Steve narrows his eyes and he thinks that Steve Rogers can see straight through the cracks in his facade. On a more sombre note, Tony adds. "If you wanna talk, ever, I'm happy to, but you should also give one of these guys a ring."

Steve nods. 

"Promise?" he says lightly. 

"I promise," Steve says after a lengthy pause.

Three days later Steve keeps that promise. Tony’s never been so grateful in his life.

Tony persuades Pepper to take Steve to art galleries. He offers to buy The Dodgers back, but Steve frowns.

"What do you mean, ‘buy them back’?" he asks. Tony edges away slowly. That's a whole can of worms Tony’s not going to address. 

Natasha takes Steve sightseeing of her own volition, which wins her back some brownie points in his book after the whole _stab Tony in the neck_ thing.

Clint actually takes him up on his offer to move in and introduces Steve to the wonder that is Netflix.

Bruce occasionally surfaces, offers people tea, and disappears again.

When Steve cracks a joke about Tony's age after Tony whines about his back when they’re sparring, Tony doesn’t think he’s smiled that much since Pepper did the thing after the Loki invasion and _damn_. 

Three months later Steve smiles every single day. Proper smiles, not the fake ones. Sometimes, he even laughs.

When Tony gets back after the incident with the Mandarin he’s never seen Steve so angry.

“I thought you were dead!” Steve shouts, and Tony flinches, which in turn causes Steve to recoil.

“I’m sorry. I’m just really glad you’re alive,” he says and gives Tony a very watery smile.

When he first finds Tony having a panic attack he talks him through it calmly and kindly, and later explains how pre-serum Steve had pretty much every ailment under the sun, and asthma induced panic attacks were a very real thing.

Eventually Steve moves to DC, and after Hydra resurfaces it’s Tony’s turn to shout at Steve. What is his obsession with crashing planes into large masses of water? He starts working on a new suit. It’s Pepper’s idea. Tony is very pleased to hear that Steve’s new buddy works at the VA as a counsellor. Steve needs friends that aren’t a mad billionaire and an ex-soviet assassin, or even the great-niece of his ex-girlfriend.

Unfortunately Bucky Barnes also turns out to be an ex-soviet assassin. Also: not dead. Figures. Tony provides help in whatever form he can, but there’s not much of an electronic trail, so he sort of secretly gives Steve his jet. Steve hasn’t quite figured out why Tony has a plane departing for every city he plans on visiting next, and Tony doesn’t mention it.

Tony blames Ultron and his own massive ego for their worst fight to date. Steve is rude, but Tony shudders when he thinks about what he said. ‘I don’t trust a guy without a dark side.' They both know that Steve has a dark side, and it escapes his mouth before he can take it back. When Steve says ‘let’s just say you haven’t seen it yet’ Tony knows he fucked up. They brawl it out the next day, then save the world, and manage to put it behind them.

They're walking down a corridor two days later and Tony's retiring. Sort of.

“But if you put the hammer in an elevator?” Steve says with a smile like sunshine.

“It’ll still go up,” Tony says. He actually tested it. He doesn’t say that.

“Elevator’s not worthy,” Steve declares.

Thor leaves, and they’re both grinning about lawn maintenance of all damn things, and Tony can’t help himself because today’s the anniversary of that horrendous day when Tony thought he’d have to explain to Fury exactly why Steve’s insides were on the outsides of his awfully high tower and Steve gives him _the nod_.

“I will miss you Tony,” Steve says, and what he really means is ‘thank you’.

“Yehuh,” Tony says, because he’s emotionally stunted, but Steve knows he means ‘you too’.

Pepper doesn't question it when he buys himself a really big trophy with the engraving ‘Tony Is Awesome’ and displays it in his workshop. She rolls her eyes. He grins. They’re happy.

He doesn’t buy her a farm. Turns out that’s Pepper’s worst nightmare. Tony is very glad.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed, and thanks for reading. Find me on [tumblr](https://theroguehuntress.tumblr.com/) if you wanna chat, or feel free to comment!


End file.
